Sabtu, Februari 27, 2010

Do u regret it?

Good morning, fellas!

So today i got my hair done by my sister. I got my hair washed and blow dryed. My hair look great. Even my fringe fall in the right place. Its just that few moments in my life when i don't have a bad hair day. Its a perfect hair day. Even my powder and lipstick look great. I'm as cute as my friend Jun (who is praised for having a cute face by lurino at twitter).

I was planning to go to Bogor today (yes, to a mall) and watch a movie with a couple of networld friends. I wanted to show off my perfect hair to my friends and show them that i'm not always look that mature (a.k.a old). I look like a teenager with my short hair (i'm not making things up! >.<) and maybe i'm gonna meet someone cute at the mall or catch some 'brondong'. Lol!

But what about my jilbab?

I was sitting long and frustrated in front of the mirrorr with jilbab in my hand and my sister awaits me to go to Bogor. I wanted to show off my hair and show the world that i'm not always that lame and 'lusuh' (can't find the right word in English).

In the end, i put on my cover and go to Bogor. Even though my mom always supported me for NOT wearing my jilbab, i'm not wearing it for anyone but myself. =]

Jumat, Februari 26, 2010

Where is ur happyness lies?

Hai, bloggers and facebookers (i linked my blogs to my facebook notes so more people can read my random thoughts :p) long time no blog. =] well, i've been busy with my tumblr since its a lot easier to update. Simply just send an email via my blackberry to my tumblr's email and it'll be updated in no time. I know i could do the same thing with blogger but i don't know how to set the email address. :-S blogger should've made things a little simpler for its user. -__-

Oh, well. Enough with the pointless rambling. =]

So where does your happiness lies? I know its in u somewhere. I can't remember the last time i feel pure joy and happiness and satisfaction. I feel comfortable, yes. I feel a slight feeling of relieve, yes. But not joy. When other people get to be a civil service officer from the gorvenment, a.k.a PNS they got overwhelmed with joy. Espescially when ur hardwork finally get recognition from ur boss and u get an offer to fill a-soon-to-be-empty position at the office with harsh responsibility where its demand maturity and quick thinking. I never wanted that position. No. While i know some people get over joy by the news, i'm not. I don't feel anything but a huge burden on my shoulder. I just wanna live a normal quite life but it just not happening!

What should i do? Should i refuse the position? Either way i won't be starving even if i don't have that position. I know some places that will take me in, in no time. Its a dillema for me cos i'm proud to be appointed to this position. Means i'm trusted and assumed capable to this position. This means more hard work and more consideration to my conscious.

This new job demand me to act all mature while i feel a little bit dissapointed cos i feel comfortable to my position as the youngest at the office. I can't abuse my 'youngest' position anymore and i feel burden and troublesome cos of my age. Will they listen to me? Will they have respect on me? I don't know. Its all depend on my future attitude won't it?

Is this a gift or a test from god? I tend to choose the second one.

I don't feel grateful. Thats the reason of my unhappiness. I need to talk to someone. Its been a long time since i talk to my friends.

Is this what it takes to be an adult? *sigh.