Hai, bloggers and facebookers (i linked my blogs to my facebook notes so more people can read my random thoughts :p) long time no blog. =] well, i've been busy with my tumblr since its a lot easier to update. Simply just send an email via my blackberry to my tumblr's email and it'll be updated in no time. I know i could do the same thing with blogger but i don't know how to set the email address. :-S blogger should've made things a little simpler for its user. -__-
Oh, well. Enough with the pointless rambling. =]
So where does your happiness lies? I know its in u somewhere. I can't remember the last time i feel pure joy and happiness and satisfaction. I feel comfortable, yes. I feel a slight feeling of relieve, yes. But not joy. When other people get to be a civil service officer from the gorvenment, a.k.a PNS they got overwhelmed with joy. Espescially when ur hardwork finally get recognition from ur boss and u get an offer to fill a-soon-to-be-empty position at the office with harsh responsibility where its demand maturity and quick thinking. I never wanted that position. No. While i know some people get over joy by the news, i'm not. I don't feel anything but a huge burden on my shoulder. I just wanna live a normal quite life but it just not happening!
What should i do? Should i refuse the position? Either way i won't be starving even if i don't have that position. I know some places that will take me in, in no time. Its a dillema for me cos i'm proud to be appointed to this position. Means i'm trusted and assumed capable to this position. This means more hard work and more consideration to my conscious.
This new job demand me to act all mature while i feel a little bit dissapointed cos i feel comfortable to my position as the youngest at the office. I can't abuse my 'youngest' position anymore and i feel burden and troublesome cos of my age. Will they listen to me? Will they have respect on me? I don't know. Its all depend on my future attitude won't it?
Is this a gift or a test from god? I tend to choose the second one.
I don't feel grateful. Thats the reason of my unhappiness. I need to talk to someone. Its been a long time since i talk to my friends.
Is this what it takes to be an adult? *sigh.